Enough

1 am starving
Not just my body,
But my mind,
My soul,
My energy.
Living day to day
Can be the hardest task
I have to overcome.
It is simply exhausting.
My thoughts run
Faster than any Olympic runner.
Thinking about all the ways that I am not good enough.
"Don't eat that"
"You're not hungry"
"Check the calories"
"This is what you've always wanted"
"You aren't pretty enough"
Daily thoughts play on repeat
Like my favorite song in the car.
"Keep going"
"You aren't skinny enough"
"You already ate once today"
"Cut the calories"
"Check the scale"
I caved.
The thoughts won.
I'll start slowly though,
Don't worry.
1,500 calories is
The lowest recommended amount.
"You're not losing weight fast enough"
I caved again.
1,000 calories.
"Nice, you've lost 13 lbs. in 14 days. If you cut More, you'll lose weight faster"
800 calories.
"You've hit a plateau"
"Cut more, you need to keep losing weight"
500 calories.
"Just a little more, you can do it"
"If you keep going, you'll look like one of those models in a magazine" Once again, I caved.
Maybe I can just eat every other day?
People say,
You look sick.
But I ask,
Am I pretty yet?
People say,
I don't recognize you!
But I say, I don't recognize myself.
I'm tired.
I'm exhausted.
When will enough be enough?
Am I pretty yet?