Call out for help

I’m good, I’m okay , I’m fine

I just told you three of the same lies all at the same time don’t ask again I’m fine im drowning but haven’t yet
That means there’s still hope , some times I just need to vent but I’d hate for my feeling to be a burden I’m sorry I just don’t know how to cope I wanna ask for help but    as I take that big gulp I choke my words studder an croke an say I’m okay

I’m always told think before I speak but i can’t think when my depression heart steep is 140 per beat so I can’t call it a bad habit ITS AUTOMATIC

Because life has just showen me time and time again that I can only depend on myself at the end Of the day

And even if I wasn’t what would be the next thing you do or say
What solutions could you possibly offer me that I couldn’t already receive from myself

An man I hate the hidden ious or expectations that come with accepting help …. So even if you could I’d still say I’m good

I can never verbally explain my pain but I just keep is obtained between my 4 walls just thinking of all my flaws switching in between of my feelings of aggression and pain that I call depression an all I can do is take comfort in the fact that I’m taking every an L an Turing it into a lesson

I’m good I’m ok I’m fine someday those won’t be 3 different lies