1

I’m walking in a maze or am I really. It’s what I see that is true to me. Did I think it or is it real. It’s not what I see but what I feel. My eyes are closed but really open. My mind is scattered I can’t seem to focus.  The vision is blurry it’s almost dark I can’t unsee what I’ve already seen the things that I have done to me.  I might laugh and say it don’t matter but what I want to believe is My mind is playing tricks on me.  When I think about it i want to improve it’s got me feeling like I might lose. What is it that I think I might lose to be honest I’m not really sure because I’m not even sure if it’s really you. Who is it that I see and that I believe that’s on the other side watching me. What is it that you see that’s different that I can’t make sense about me.   If it’s in my head and I’m making it up then when I look in the mirror why isn’t it clearer. If I’m talking to myself why do I believe someone can hear it.  If I write it down why do I think someone can see it. If it’s not true then why do I believe if I keep adding to it someone else is gonna read it.  I’m not alone but in my thoughts I am thinking out loud doing the best I can. I know I can do better not better than you but better than me.  If I’m not talking to you am I really talking to me. Do I have some other personality or is it me that just can’t seem to believe.  I know my truth and wear my dirt it’s not what’s on the outside that I want you to see but what’s inside of me. I say I don’t cry but that’s a lie my tears are hidden that’s the strength in me.  Look into my eyes they are not dry that’s the other side of me it’s what I want you to see the serious side of me waiting  on you to bring it out of me.  I’m honest I can’t contain myself that’s why I asked for help. It’s not the help what others think but help to find myself I’m walking blind with my eyes open not sure what I’m supposed to see or where I’m supposed to be. I just know deep down I’m waiting to bust out with the best of me.   I’m not chasing dreams just establishing a new reality if you understand this then when you look in the mirror then you don’t just see you. You see me.