TEAR SOAKED BIRD CHEST

In those old memories / I try not to close my eyes / out of fear of getting lost in them / But... / Lately I find myself / allowing them to fall shut / during a specific recounting of a specific memory / On the 3rd night in Tampa / an old song / about addiction and the denial of it / brought me to tears / though I had heard it many times before / I had texted you / and you came outside to talk / comfort me / hold me / It was the only time that ever happened / I kept it together / despite all the painful moments / you put me through / So that late Spring night / in sweltering Florida / I let my brown eyes rest / Rest my muddled mind on your chest / The air humid and damp / though the Tampa sun is long gone / more than just tears streaking down my cheeks / Salt in my once long dyed hair / As I let myself cry / to you / A once in a lifetime opportunity / That I think I truly squandered / I could have cried to you / instead about all the ways / you made my soft heart ache / Splinter and crack / About how I tried to picture myself living there / With you / Instead of her / When I try to really recall / What that night really felt like / I picture your tattooed arms / wrapped around my body / wracked with sobs / soak your bird chest with tears / I'm trying to remember / if you stroked my hair / my back / or if you just / stood there awkwardly / Heart feeling nothing / Just going through the motions / of comforting me / for the first / last / and only time.