War of Passion

HMRyan 1977 (New York)

October 23 


Thoughts of rage,
Thoughts of violence,
Thoughts of sex,
Thoughts of nakedness,
Thoughts of uncontrollable actions engulf my mind.

Emotions of raging hormones,
Savage-obsessed passion bite at his skin.
Emotions of extremely overpowering sexual desire,
Tearing away the layers keeping me trapped inside.
Emotions of uncontrollable actions engulf my mind.

I fight for sanity!
I fight for control!
My mind swirls in disarray,
Confusion is everywhere!

Releasing the cruel brutality
Of the vicious animal hidden so deep inside.
Emotions unknown to all humanity,
Fear drives the anxiety.

Surrendering to the overwhelming need,
The overpowering desire,
The overwhelming passion,
Pure serenity escaped!

I may have lost this battle,
…but the war is not over!

About this poem

What it felt like when I lost control of my sexual desires during a manic episode of Bipolar before I married my husband. Not fun!

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Written on 2023

Submitted by HMRyan99 on October 30, 2023

42 sec read
48

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAXAB XXCDB EXXX EDEE XCXX XC
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 756
Words 140
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 5, 5, 4, 4, 4, 2

HMRyan

Throughout my lifetime, I have been diagnosed with bipolar I, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, ADHD, and OCD. However, no one is actually convinced or definite on any one diagnosis. Nevertheless, I seriously do not need any diagnosis to know who I am. I am Heather M Ryan, and I am beautifully crazy in my own chaotic way; I almost always have a method to my madness. These are my feelings, my opinions, and my own personal thoughts. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but my life hasn't always been that way. I have been at most ends of the spectrum… rich and miserable, poor and madly in love, desperate, depressed, and homeless. Like my brain, I still have yet to find a happy medium in life. The last 45 years have left me in tears, shaking with fear and panic, running from a painful reality and past, the streets in the pouring down rain, homeless praying God would answer my prayers and send help, naked under the stars and in complete awe at how God works miracles just when you think all is lost. God has brought me from the deepest darkest depths of hell into the sunlight and has showered me with love and mercy time and time again. I look forward to enjoying this final chapter of my life with you and anyone else that would like to join us. You can follow me on Facebook at Heather M Ryan or visit my website at www.1hellofajourney.com. more…

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