The Junkies dairies

Wickedness surrounds the streets,
Surrendering my battle of addiction on repeat,
It makes me feel complete when my head is buried in the sheets,
My dreams, so vivid of life,
Tell myself it’s going to be alright,
In and out of an institution,
My soul is up for execution,
Through the sadness of unspoken words,
Can’t express my feelings in this world,
A thousand pills a day to numb the pain away,
This world became gray,
You can see the pure insanity on my face,
Mental health leaves me lying there like a corpse,
Taking its deadly course,
Lay hold of the drugs to breathe out the hurt,
What comes to my mind first,
Is how good it would feel to walk away from earth,
I’m forgotten in the shadows in a parade of junkies,
I’m a toxic waste of humanity,
My hallucinations get the best of me,
Shackles that hold me from freedom,
My heart of gold is my kingdom,
The sun rises with my eyes shut,
Beauty is something I can’t touch,
It will shatter in a rain of hell fire,
My darkness over powers what I admire,
The moment I feel loved I’m drained,
I can’t get passed it or go above,
Suffocated in a bag instead of free as a dove,
I collapse into my own arms,
Hiding from enemies harm,
I stay awake wondering if this is what I deserve,
Fragile body due to the drugs I insert,
Craved human romance instead I found dopamine from a better antidote,
My last living day will have my words written on a note,
My lips touch pills, while my eyes see hills,
Over the horizon is a place a feel real,
Touching the sky in my mind,
Layers of my skin, a peel,
Shedding into a new life every time the sun begins to rise,
Yet somehow finding myself trapped in the same cycle no matter how hard I try,
My heart beat that keeps me alive,
Pumping my veins with life,
My will that tried to demolish the needle that keeps giving me hopeless lies,
This loud echoing in this abandoned room,
Well eventually lead me to my doom,
Hiding my inner pain like a coward,
My emptiness taking all my power,
Razor sharp blade cruising my veins,
My life is of two opposite trains,
One with the ability to flee while the other stuck in chains,
Floating into the abyss,
Seeping into nothingness while craving my needles kiss,
Running from the shadows that take part in my pain,
I could flush the needle right now down the drain,
Maybe just one more kiss before the rain,
It’s a war in my mind,
A soldier in combat,
Fighting one self,
Ran miles around the junkies track,
I’m guilty of my own sinful act.