My Life

The best way I can describe my life is I am in the middle of a vast ocean. Sometimes I can tread water and keep my head above the surface with very little struggle. Sometimes I get tired and struggle immensely and sometimes I just give up and slowly sink below the surface. At those times a boat will come along and carry me for a while but I always end up back in the water in the middle of nowhere alone. I know it’s because I’m not trying hard enough. I know I am the only one that can save me. I have to swim to the land, the land isn’t going to come to me. I have to WANT to survive. Why don’t I want to survive. Why do I keep giving up? Where is my desire to live? I just can’t seem to find the strength to swim to the shore. It seems so far away but I know it’s right there, well within my reach. Sometimes I wish the boats would stop coming so I can just just slip below the surface and fade away. So I can swim free in another peaceful and beautiful world. Sometimes I wish I could stay here and see peace and beauty in this world. It’s a terrible and lonely place, this place between this world and the next world. Will I ever find my way out? And If I do find my way out will it be in this world? Or will it be in the next world?

~ By Tonya Richardson