Faith

FAITH

I have always felt so alone in this world
My mind has always twisted and twirled
I have not been myself my entire life
It's seems its been all pain and strife
It's hard to feel anything when you feel all alone
Love to me was far away and unknown
How could I accept love, without loving myself?
My heart tucked away on an old dusty bookshelf
Do I blame myself or my circumstances?
Nothing in my life has been advancing
Deep down inside can I blame another?
My friends, my peers, my father or mother?
I tried to do that for the longest time
But now I realize it's almost a crime
to put blame on someone for how you are
I've woken up now and felt this huge jar
From way far away from a place no one's seen
I looked really hard and saw this bright beam
A beam of hope that it will all be OK
No longer, myself, do I have to betray
For a long time there, I had lost all hope
I was down and out and unable to cope
To get out of bed was a struggle each day
Happiness and love seemed so far away
But now I've been touched by the hand of my God
My heart seemed to shutter, then slowly it thawed
Hope, promise and love flooded my soul
I no longer felt my life was out of control
It took so long for me to accept this new life
I struggle each day, on the edge like a knife
To change who you thought you were to who you are
May seem a little strange or even bizarre
But it's worth every heartache, frustration and tear
To take those steps to conquer your fears
It won't happen in a day or a week or any set time
It's quite a hard struggle, you'll trudge and you'll climb
Keep climbing, keep going, that's what has to be done
It won't be easy and it's not really fun
But once you conquer one thing, you move on real fast
You start tucking the bad memories real far in the past
Have faith in yourself and have courage to succeed
It does hurt a little but don't worry you wont bleed
It's a process of taking it one day at a time
It's not going to happen with a drop of a dime
I'm still not exactly where I truly wish to be
But at least i'm not doing it like before, blindly
I'll get there, I know it, I'm patient and have strength
My hearts on a journey to my new life's wavelength
I'm open, I'm honest, I'm willing and ready
To become stronger and wiser and happy and steady
I know I can do it, I won't stop til I do
What i'm seeing now is just a sneak preview
To a life that is filled with laughter and joy
Nothing can stop it, slow it down or destroy
The path that I'm on that's so open and wide
I no longer have to quiver and hide!!!

Angel Kalvaitis 9/2023