The boy and the beast

I look the monster in it’s eyes the ones i admired that i now despise, it took me months to realise. though he has no claws his nails leave scars on my arm his teeth aren’t as sharp as talons but they still leave me with blood stained palms, his lips aren’t poison but i feel woozy every time i think of them, he is no monster but i still find myself pondering what beast could do this. the thought of him makes me tighten my fist when i try and talk about the scars you can’t see that but that he left me i lisp and i stutter i mutter words i myself don’t understand, i stand on blood stained land but there are no soldiers, yet there is one victim there are no ears to hear but here i talk like someone will listen, i stand on one side of the field the beast on the other i still stutter smothered by his threatening presence the field feels like an ocean the closer he gets, maybe im drowning quickly or maybe im sinking quietly i just know i won’t let him talk one sidlingly, blood drenched water fills my mouth at the first attempt to speak, tear’s well up in my eyes he looks at me standing above me, im scared more of what will happen if i speak then the sea that is painfully killing me, i speak, i speak again and i again, i’ll say it like we used to be best friends like there was a chance we could mend this and i send it, when i open my eyes im surrounded by hundreds of phones flashlights the monster looking at me disagreeing. we have no claws we have no talons we have no fangs we have no fur im shaking but i stand firm, if you don’t believe me i won’t beg you crying on my knees there will come a time where i talk and someone will be listening without judgement, i won’t be smothered in my own blood and i’ll feel a love i asked for, one i want. so tell me why when he looks at me and i look back people see two beasts the one who attacks, and the one who speaks