Lost yet becoming

Feeling empty but whole
It's kinda contradicting but real
I know I should be kneeling down,but what for
I'm unbothered but worried
Spiritually I'm numb,physically well
With my emotions on sky high,tempted to scream
But why should I?I know it's dumb
Becoming is a desire,but how and when?

Anxious and less confident is what I potray,
But deep inside I want more,I want it to end
Shedding tears has become my daily bread,yet one I haven't baked
Peace is what it brings me,comforting it is
Let me cry,and soon I will stop
Give me a chance,I shall become