Did you find heaven?

Did you find heaven ?

When they brutalised
Your tarnished skin,

fulfilled a bloody rampage
On your eyes of rose gold,

Did you retract your mind
From your worn, stolen purity.

Travel miles beyond their violence,
discover a diverged reality,
Where your thoughts were not an accomplice to their poison.

Did you enclose your sanity
In walls of white marble.
Taste the bitterness of desperation,
as hateful words consumed you and hands,
eager hands
Became a deceitful brand,
On dangerously coloured skin.

Dream of a tomorrow,
In which you yearned to taste the cloy lies of freedom
Did you find heaven?

I remember,
I remember it all

Your eyes pearly,
Wet like chipped crystals.

Glistening blue skies,
Were all we knew.
Rushing through forests,
Their crunch of defiance,
our anger fueled
And so we sought comfort in our juvenile dreams.

Their words intertwined themselves in the depravity of our souls.
Our hearts burned as we were robbed of our humanity.
The intricate concept between life and death,
Became blurred.
Blurred between the trembling lines of our weakness and despair,
Did you find heaven?

I let out my grief,
In rooms stained of my innocence.

My regrets echoed,
as I tasted my humanity on my tongue.

I never told you my fears,
Never revealed my dark, twisted wants.
How all I desired was to be a human.
Free from my stunted soul,
Outside my trembling mouth,
Away from their shattering presence.

Where I could feel wind meet skin
And not the familiarity of tragedy weave its deceitful nature unto my entirety.
Smell the beauty of an unlived existence,
I would let my eyes burn of the dear sunlight,
That ceases to reach me.
Yet, still it calls
Did you find heaven?

We slow danced to words unsaid that morning.
A beautifully haunting melody.
Moments of embraced hope,
Untainted from the cruelty of our ever prevailing nightmare.

We lay on that yellow swing,
Its dingy rust
Shone more brightly than our dimly lit hearts.

We were engulfed in our misery,
And still all I wanted was to be infinitely yours.
Beyond our disgraceful reality,
Away from the cut-throat tunes of time.

It was tragic,
the heat I felt from your palm.
I swear It warmed me up,
As the cool wind kissed my wounds
And when you spoke?
I knew salvation could be traced back to your sweet lies
And so I lay between your figments of reality and dreams
And let my being burn from the heat of our dangerous greed.

I breathed in the unfamiliarity of longing
And repaired my laboured breaths
Did you find heaven?

Amongst your patience,
Amongst your stuttering will,
You clung unto your hope
And you gave mine breath.
As their thorns gnashed your knee,
You closed your eyes
And withheld yourself.
Withheld your unfolding ache,
Because you were a child
Who searched for heaven

I know it hurt
As your knees drowned in an intimate crimson,
Consuming your still shadow
I know it pained you dearly as you submitted to their curiosity
I know you lost a lot that night
While i lost you
Still, in my present hours
Where I no longer recall the pungent curiosity of your scent
Or the exact hue of brown found in your weary eyes
My heart sings out in awe and wonders
Did you reach heaven?