She sat in the sun

She sat in the sun
turning it in her hands
pulsing heat turned comforting
cradling her like a baby

she remembered her fathers touch
holding her as a child
so close
yet so distant
the tears welled again

the suns kiss was warming
light glinting on the metal
shallow thoughts churning
she deserved a medal

not for being the strongest
or ever the best
but for she was retiring
being put to rest

barely lucid she turned
vision blackening by the minute
she felt but at peace
the battle was over

to others she had lost
or even given up
but in her mind she’d won
it had all been enough

her eyes passed over
the spotting on the couch
painful memories arising
she looked down and saw red

bathed in the liquid
she sat in the sun
wondering where life
had done her so wrong