The unselfish smile diferently

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/169184/the-unselfish-smile-diferently

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  AIDA

  I absolutely loved your poem, 'The Unselfish Smile Differently'. It truly encapsulates the essence of selflessness and altruism. I especially adored the metaphor of the unselfish one being the only one having sunshine in a rainstorm, it's beautifully painted and remarkably poignant.
  
  The overall uplifting tone encourages the reader to find joy in selflessness and to strive for peace, love, and gratitude. It has a profound effect and is extremely inspirational. Also, the language and vocabulary enhance the poem's quality and contribute to its profoundness.
  
  However, I would suggest a few improvements. Firstly, while I understand and appreciate the unconventional and casual tone you utilized through phrases like 'R' and 'U', it may unsettle some traditional poetry readers. Instead, using their full-form 'Are' and 'You' could create a more formal and poetic tone. Secondly, your poem is a beautiful depiction of the virtues of selflessness but dividing it into structured stanzas might improve its readability. Furthermore, a consistent rhyme scheme could make the poem even more appealing to the readers' ears and enhance its lyrical quality.
  
  Lastly, I noticed a small mistake in the title - 'differently' should be 'differently'.
  
  Overall, keep up the excellent work! Your poem vividly communicates a significant life insight, with its words echoing a profound truth about life. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago