Questions and questions but no answers

Summer nights are cold without you here not feeling your touch hearing your laugh carefully listening to your voice and winter nights would be even colder I sit back and think to myself it can’t be over I look at everything about myself to blame am I denial? Should I wait? How long do I wait? Should I message? Should I call? Should I smile? Should I cry? Am I enough? So many questions not one answer where do I get the answers from? I think if this is love should it be so hard? Again another question without an answer I smile knowing that I was able to find love but I cry because it doesn’t feel the same, how can something so beautiful turn to something so hurtful. “People fall in love in mysterious ways maybe it’s just part of our plan” we fell in love in the most mysterious way but the most genuine and beautiful way. I’m coasting living through memories is this right ? Isit normal to think about someone so much ? Then I wonder do I cross your mind? How do you think of me ? How do you tell our story? Does the story have a happy ending? Yet again more questions. I sometimes think to myself this is a dream, then i look around and I realise it’s not, I’m desperately trying to escape reality scared to accept it terrified to start again. Hopefully the story doesn’t end hopefully I can continue being your knight and shining armour. Nothing feels normal or the same when my normality is my life with you. I still picture you in a wedding dress, am I delusional for thinking these things am I crazy or am I just broken I need to put the pieces together but I want you to help I want to put your pieces together because us together makes a whole moon a whole life a whole picture.