Reality Check

If I knew what I know now I would've left you sitting on the curb to ponder your thoughts by yourself
I was prepared for dinner
I knew what I wanted from my appetizers all the way down to dessert
While you were still looking and indecisive about what it is that you want
If I wasn't private and investigated the evidence that I had then
I would've left you in the tub to turn into a prune because I've been wrinkled for time for quite awhile now and my thoughts have gotten soggy
If I knew what I know now I would've set you on fire
Because you've burned my heart all the way to the ground
The foundation I had laid for my mental is nowhere to be found
And I know I can see
Your the one blind and honestly can't see me
You may want the sex but I want the respect
I want your feelings to be easy to read and not so uptight and so complex
I mean I don't mind diving deep
I can give you some of me and your box of emotions better be A1 so not one of my emotions seep
If I knew what I know now I would've left your hand empty when you asked for a moment
I would've gave a simple hello
Walked away real strong and owned it
You would've thought I was bitter
But I know that everything that shines ain't glitter
They say you wear your emotions on your sleeve
Well my emotions are blue
I've been tried and tribulated
And look nothing like what I've been through
If I knew what I know now I would've let you drown in the abyss
Let the waves continue to hit you and not even gave a shit
I mean for what
Because look whats it's cost me
I can no longer look at myself in the mirror and that by itself was costly
If I knew what I know now I would've never had my first drink
I would've kept smoking my blunt and poured that liquid demon down the damn sink
Because now I feel like an alcoholic
I keep drinking just to keep up with you
Your emotions are so up in the air i dont even know what to call it
But It's your present love language
And I just wanted to communicate
I tried to match your pain and rage
Which ended up setting me back a few steps and I'm on the wrong page
My vibe is off
My heart feels neglect
I feel pain
And I feel it all in my chest
My mind starts pondering
Damn that sounds like a reality check