Disappoint

I sit here,
Confined within the walls of my own procrastination;
My head throbs and pounds.
Tears drip down onto my bedsheets and I shiver in exasperation in this pit I’ve dug.
It is hot in this room,
The scalding tension chokes me,
Preventing sobs from escaping my collapsed throat.
My lips tint blue because I hold my breath,
And wonder where it all went wrong.
Here I exist,
Compelled to excel by the deafening success of my peers.
Yet, still in some manner,
I can never be more than the rue of my unspoken legacy.