MY ORPHANED HONOR

In a dog-like way, I have often imagined myself filling the present of those eternally sinful minutes! I may be an orphan and often and in many ways a coward and a hypocrite, but I have an honor that fills my existence and is sanctified by the password of loyalty that subordinates everything for something! – The faithful ominous cry: How do you always remember who you are? - I have never betrayed nor did I intend to have sinned in any way with my truthfulness!

I listened many times and many different things on the hilltop of the deepest fertile solitude, where our old apartment building stood with its feet isolated in the ground, wondering what the unknown present and the distant, mortal future time could tell me? Here, peace and reconciliation with the big world market, or do you want to work like a robot while two concrete hands contain a thought that is conceived and wasted?

Hair! - Will there be enough bread-earning to sustain my existence: To pay the bills, and will I be able to take care of my small, intimate family? - There are so many essential and important questions that the human thinking mind cannot go beyond without words and actions that define action, even though its tangled labyrinth of brain coils, clinging to every single thread, tries to decipher the formulas of the more complicated and crazy human life!

some have proved with unbreakable faith and will that my half-hearted spirit and immaculate character are in no way suitable for working! assuredly, I can only gently say: Those who tell me that I am trapped in the nothingness of a useless coldness, like a helpless prisoner, - don't do it - because every single spark of hope is determined by the cultural action that comes from the heart: to leave messages for others, who are patient enough to read through!