Big Me

 Big me stays close now, always feeling never far. I finally kind of absorbed from him, what my qualifications are. 
  All of my bad choices, and every mistake that I made. They all share equal importance, to any aces that I’ve played. 
  Up on Buddha’s perch, this is what you’ll see. The number of everything there ever was, most important being three. 
  Arriving in this moment, with its programmed and linear way. I think back to the where that I was, but with nothing more to say. 
  As a soldier in god’s army of love, I have only this to decree. The hardest part so far in this, is the estrangement I’ve imposed upon me. 
  If I had stayed with family near, and decided not to roam. Chances are I’d been locked away, first time I said adrenochrome. 
  With inward focus guiding something, half the world can’t see. This will change quite quickly, with what soon will come to be. 
  Assuming I was chosen, since I never answered the call. So simply said, the best way ahead is to never stop giving your all. 
  These threads that I call, connecting it all, they work something like a key. Excepting my role in the coming events, opening up to big me.
  Every day I miss my kids, but happy they’re not here with me. I know that for them to see this poem, would probably not put them at ease. 
  Now that I’ve gotten to vent a bit, I guess I’ll call it a day. I’ve denied the old, to except the new, and gave all my money away. 
  So when you’ve finally had enough of this, call it, organized societal decay. There’s always room, hope to welcome you soon, here on the middle way.