That set of knives

17 years of my life,
and I want to end it with a knife .
I’ve been waiting for my time to come ,
but my body becomes all too numb.

Every time the blade touches my skin,
I reflect upon all my sins.
My achievements barely fill a tin,
All these hardships I take on the chin.
Ha! That’s a lie I let them all soak in.

Let them tear me all apart,
Till I’m nothing but a beating heart.
How I wish I could press restart…

I’m nothing but a waste of space,
I’m staggering with each foot losing pace.
How the f*ck! am I the sperm that won the race?
In this world I’m just another face.,
My thoughts attack me; leaving me a basket case,
Cuz failure is what I seem to ace.

Yet failure is what I seem to fear,
And a life in fear is a life filled with tears.

So…what do I do?
If only you knew,
The pain and the struggle I’m battling through.

I want to let go.
I want to break free.
In a place where I can finally try to be me.

But, that place seems so far…
It’s like trying to reach for a star.
As I’m left here burnt with all these scars,
How I wish I could drive off in a scar.

But I’m afraid to drive,
Like I’m afraid to strive.
So my eyes flit back to ….

That set of knives.