Love was never their

Confession that led to agreements insults saying things we don’t mean trying to hurt you because you hurt me I must confess I let my emotions get to me maybe sensitive I did what I did because I felt hurt by you destroying every ounce of you reputation, crumbling to the ground all the those promises you said were they even real was your feelings  even real said you would hurt me how come it took this long for you to make me fell pain sacrifice myself in vain just to make you love me did horrifying terrible things just to make you stay even if I’m hurting myself in process would you stay dancing in the blood that we made throughout our love how come you quit playing our game
the one where one of us hurts each other till one of us bleeds red i’m not going to apologize for the arguments and insults when you couldn’t hurt me enough to make the love seem real you said you’d help me kill myself if couldn’t was that a lie you keep making statements that I keep questioning like will you hurt me this time we’re on the path to self-destruction could happen any day I got addicted to the toxicity I’m addicted to your hurt wish it last longer do you think about me am I in your mind 7 days a week your heart is like liquid poison I crave it every time trying everything to make you mine spewing death threats killing those you hold so dear did I mean nothing to you let’s pretend so can causes havoc took medicine nothing seems help I need you to heal me well I hide everything under a disguise everything was good in-till you stop hurting me come ruin my life I’m sorry I take accountability for what I did he believed that I was sorry stuck in victim mentality state of mind gaslighting just to hold onto something playing mind games trying to navigate the maze I made I’m addicted to your hurt I got bad intentions that led me to do  dangerous things cutting myself so you can love me so I gave the same one’s different angles different size different lengths some bloody some little to none screaming yelling seeing you suffer makes me happy
I own you now tell me would you kill for me just hurry hurt me physically skip the psychological shit I am already sick, but I’m looking for another type of sickness I know your bad for me know it not healthy let it be what has to be please the poison you bring an intoxicating elixir that simply eases me let it be what it has to my love let it unfold for sometimes are hearts can be cold in this corrupt love I only seek comfort in you I thought I was sick looking another disease turns out I was look for love that never existed