EPILOGUE

                             

For twenty-six years, my mother’s creative hand cared for blindly, and I inherited the lion-macies of my character from my good father, along with the unexplained volcanic eruptions of my moods! – Maybe, that at one moment there is a smile in my heart with happy self-forgetfulness between the defining slaps and front lines of existence, and at another moment the pessimistic voices of self-pity haunt my half-hearted conscience. The slow waterfalls of my tears harden with patience and yet self-pity! – Bottom line: I became a man! The long years that have matured in me have grown into a young young man, and yet deep down I have still remained a very fragile little man!

If you experience unjust ruthlessness in a grumpy and inhuman jungle world: you are afraid, trembling, and under your blanket like a wandering and startled hedgehog is looking for a shelter and researching! He who tries to believe in a child and an illusion with faith, with the conscience of an unbelieving Thomas: The Morality of Man can be changed and repaired and tempted, influenced!

As a chameleon, who longs that his chosen enemies will not find him, and perhaps he would hide forever from the eyes of a curious watchful of the world, which has become a market of greater profit and interest, and does not respect privacy, and that is why I do not feel seduced by the bohemian company of the world or by the compromising human benevolence!

I would also like to hear with my X-ray beetles more and more persistently what human characters playing deception as soul sounds of honesty can whisper with hidden secrecy?! In a world driven by the interests of the people, I have never had enough luck and I can only rock the ghost wanderings of my frightened soul to sleep with complete truth! I never lined up for honors and high-estimated ranks.
I didn’t squirm and I didn’t even beg to be a loyal subject of high-impact forced rulers, an unconditional, and blind-fledged lollipop of his thoughts! I have not yet been able to take a ceasefire or peace with the World. And I can only guess the meanings of my existence in my aspiring, experimental answers!

As a careful and thorough cleaner, I collect everything with an anthill and keep it as a thoughtable message! And I can only trust that one will not throw away all the testifying documents and anything!