The Debutante

The Debutante

Life without friends
is empty and bleak.
like the pit of quicksand
That they all gather round
sitting,

staring,

                                    ...watching  me sink.

Not a cry,
            nor a yelp
seem able,
to reach an open ear.

Have they all fallen deaf?


                          Then, Why...

                                                                                    do they not hear?

They just sit,
                          and stare.

Watching me struggle
                                as my lungs grasp at the open air.

Perhaps it was,
    the panic in my glare
that hit them like
a brick to the face
No spoken words,
                    but a Beckoning silence
striking them hard,
                like mortar bombs blasting
over the battlefield.
I looked to them...
                          with sullen eyes
A glare pleading to know,

"Do you not care?"

Faces so empty:
                          like a love letter that's opened,
and within to find
                nothing more than a blank page.

The Barren faces
                    have now suited up
in a gown of outrage

        clearly I had committed the great trespass
and assault.
so now they speak
                                  falsely reassuring,
“By Golly now, We do care!”

They swallow their anger,
                              turn their backs,
And walk away.

They can't be bothered,
no, not this year.


I struggle to keep my head above
I am tired like a fool
wrapped in a cloak of shame


as I watch my friends,
            they walk away.
wishing to have seen,
              even one glance back.


to them,
                                              I had given all of my heart.

to them,
                                              I had given all of my being.
I had promised to love them endlessly.

The warmth and love I once could feel
Has turned and become
like a Rotting, poisoned veal.
To feel that same devoted love,
                        like the innocence of a child,
who blindly trusts
                                with whole-hearted, cheer
this now,
has become
                              something for me to fear.

I am pained…..

She is the Debutante
I am an empty hole
I do not deserve
her love or thoughts

anymore

like a paper cup is crumpled
and tossed into the bin of waste
so easy to grab a new one
as the former has been replaced
I am pained…..

my heart,

it is a stone
Its heaviness weighs me down
and that Is the point when I give in

sinking to the bottom, and to my end


forgotten
        are the times
I was there for them
as I am painted into
                                      their enemy
quick to wipe away

        like the devious tear
that rolls down your cheek
                your mouth now opens
and so you speak

making it known


                      that my loss of hope
is nothing but a joke

                and, of course
My friendship...
        it is not wanted
My care...
                it is not needed
And you write me off
with the diagnosis of a "delusional state"

All has been replaced


and from their minds, I am nothing but a chalkboard
that’s been erased