i remember

I remember how you used to be-
Laughs, giggles and sweet sweet mercy.
You walked with a warm heart, grace and dignity...
You put on a coat of armor everyday,
And I sat back with empathy.
You are such a good woman and person,
You're kind and loving,
Dedicated and loyal,
Passionate and spiritual, 
Those qualities are what i've always wanted, 
Which i know many others share....
But yours, your eyes, your heart...That stare... 
That stare tells it all.
The gateway to your soul,
The place that i used to feel whole...
I felt safe with you to boot....
And came in with no fear of losing you-
You were gonna be involved with me forever,
You were going to have all my love and passion you could bare.
But then...I didn't feel safe,
 And you didn't either
 We had that part about us
From year after year
Of years of fears...
We looked to each other,
But had the same stare,
"You're not getting near me"
"You're not going to break me"
"You're not getting in".
Round and round,
And around and around,
I'd inch closer
You'd send a passive aggressive glare...
And then we both hit rock bottom...
I dominated you,
And so...You dominated me...I ran away in fear.
You laughed through your misery...
Your sad eyes, closed mouth....
I couldn't help but self doubt
How could i love you and make you forgive?
Accept me for who i am when ive given all i could? Apologies from the heart
Apologies from the start 
Id ask what's the matter and you would rip me apart
You held onto your pride and your ego
"I will not be broken and taken advantage of!"
It was me, and he and she...And then all of three. 
Life was beautiful,
beauty it sure was...
We knew how our hearts loved-
But kept up boxing gloves. 
We might not have been perfect
And we surely didn't end pleasant-
But we were in love in our own ways....
Trust and commitment-
vs Trust and dignity.
Don't break me down I'd plee

We know each other like the backs of our hands...
But our insecurities kept us back
Our actions made too much of an impact
Our minds detached from our bodies
We self inflicted pain and misery.
The most amazing feeling ive felt has been this realization,
Though apart -
How much i miss your company,
How much more passionate you are
That goes so much further than the surface
You love is deep,
And so was mine...
But you didnt let me get close 
So i walked on by
Our communication didnt exist
There was no balance there
Our hearts only had known fear.. 
We knew ourselves better than anyone else could
,We mirrored each other in ways we knew we shouldnt of. 

You opened yourself, 
As did i
We mirrored each other,
Which gave us a scare.  
Our true personalities came through,
Hopeless romantics,
But most of all scared. 
When i seen you,
I seen myself.
I didn't have all the answers...
And...
We didn't seek those answers,
And we drifted apart...
We took life for granted instead of staying true to our hearts. 
One physically present one emotionally distant.... 
Were both each others opposite;
But were also each others part.
We were focusing on our self 
We both were searching for a love we needed to last
We both looked beyond what we did in our past,
We followed our demons,
We ridiculed our visions,
We bound ourselves to our own decisions