When the clouds turn grey

The dark grey hiding away the beautiful blue,
Carrying hissing, growling monsters,
Out to get five-year old me,
Heart racing in my tiny chest as my mother chases them away.

Playing race cars,
Droplets racing down the window,
Hissing monsters turned to games.

Fifteen year old me,
The beautiful grey consuming the nauseating blue,
I welcome my best friend,
My only friend.

Now she holds my tears,
As I glide the blade across my skin,
As I mourn for the loss of my mother,
As I listen to her comforting whispers on the roof of the house that holds so many memories.