Sad song

Death is easy -now
Death of each of them feels like a cake  walk now
As I listen to each of there songs they loved
 celebrated there life
I swat at flies then smile at there freedom for they are smiling down on me
Knowing I would live on
Get through this and learn to enjoy life

Broken heart is never worth the tears

Heartbreak of lovers  and  friends and families was
Inertia
The letting go of the grip  and the Loosing of training wheels
Forging new terrain ahead singing
I will survive alone and not lonely
Of course I
Can
Get through this
cause
Strength comes in the face of being told your not loved
Not just by paramours but family as well nothing worse at the time then family ignoring your silent pain
That just made me more resilient


The sickness
The diseased questionable

Then sickness comes with
questionable outcomes and more struggles to be layered into a fragmented mess you want to clean up before to old and to late
It Has pulled up
Silent unsuspecting
Caused by lapse of judgment
Driven by my own stupidity and want
Perhaps
through all the death grief surviving and heartbreak learning from staring down the ones who should and said they loved me  
To just not  think of anyone but me for once though to the world I was selfish

Trying foolishly to catch up to the place I fell behind years ago in all my process
Like buying a sport car at 50
It just felt good

I want to laugh or scream but
Im a clench mouth feeling a void
Silence is all that happens around me
Now
That’s the saddest song I got
And can not sing it
That would be to much even for me