perfection

please, peace, perfection
perfection, it’s what you need to be. it what you need to have. you manage emotions and feel for people who can’t care to burden themselves with the feelings they fear.
this is perfection and it can be achieved here:
control, contain, consumed.
consumed by constant fear of the impending step out of line the imperfect unattractive life
the ugly number that feels like the difference between satisfied and perfect
stop, stare, starve.
the deadly directions that sound like they derive from demons in your brain that fill your head with pain
and make you want to shrink
into something small into something that pushes you to the brink of skinny and happy.
try cry die
left feeling numb. no emotions to make you anxious anymore
no worry to stop you from starving until you collapse on the floor until you lose everyone that wanted to help
even though all your emotions have already been felt
enough for a lifetime and it’s like they’ve been used up.

this is perfection.
the drained complexion and haunted reflection
this is perfection