Dark Though

I've opened the door of darkness with light being unseen, my life is hanging in the middle of life and death which is something I can't believe.
Those dark though are tempting to do things I normally wouldn't do, but I know if I do them it hurts me and my mom and grandmother. I don't like feeling this way, but it's overwhelming me  at this time.
Being unable to speak to the ones I love is like punishing me for a crime. Constantly thinking of a way out hoping one day to be free, I hope to go some place when nothing seems what it appear to be.
I'm gonna keep fighting these dark thought that are trying to take control, but my fight is getting weaker and the battle I'm losing is over my soul.
So I'm gonna kneel down and pray that God gives strength to come this darkness in my life.