Fixation

Lights out -
I can feel my heart beat
In my fingertips
Every breath
in and out and in and out
The weight of the blanket presses against my legs
My face buried into the pillow
My body sunken into the mattress
An itch on my knee
An itch on my back
I can’t sleep.

Crust building in the corners of my eyes
They feel so heavy.
My body cannot keep up with my mind
It never ends.
A tear rolls down my cheek
And leaves that familiar cold.
I can feel my prickly legs scrape against each other -
There’s that heartbeat again.
And I’m still following each breath
in and out and in and out
And there goes my alarm.