Because You Looked at Me That Way

Laurel M. Lee 1970 (Anchorage, AK)

Free verse

I felt like such a goddess then,
And forgot what I would say,
Because I just glanced up and saw
You looking at me that way.

Your dark brown eyes- they smoldered;
Some secret lust implied.
I felt at once so overcome,
And my world flipped on its side.

You smiled when caught and dropped your eyes,
Like a sheepish little boy.
This magical exchange of ours
Swiftly swelled my heart with joy.

Because you looked at me that way,
I felt sexy and adored.
And so, my memory now will keep
This exchange forever stored.

About this poem

This is my attempt to capture the memory of a very special moment.

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Written on April 28, 2023

Submitted by Laurelmlee on May 13, 2023

Modified by Laurelmlee on May 13, 2023

: 33 sec read
: 334 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XAXA BBXB XCXC ABXB
Closest metre	Iambic tetrameter
Characters	513
Words	111
Stanzas	4
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4

Full analysis for Because You Looked at Me That Way »

Laurel M. Lee

When I was little, my grandfather had me believing I'd be a famous poet someday. Of course, life never turns out the way you plan, does it? Still, I do have a litle fun with it from time to time. This first contest submission of mine today is the first one I've written in several years, and I only wrote it because a friend's gift inspired me. I could never stick to the rules of the various poetry styles, but have always enjoyed the ones that rhyme. I've long been a fan of Edgar Allan Poe's "Annabel Lee" and John Masefield's "Sea Fever". Having been born in Alaska, I also love Robert Service's "Cremation of Sam McGee". I have a two teenagers and my husband and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary this year. more…

All Laurel M. Lee poems | Laurel M. Lee Books

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dougb.19255
Your bio says that you have enjoyed some poems by John Masefield. His long narrative poems are excellent. Consider these titles Dauber, The Everlasting Mercy, Good Friday.
LikeReply 19 days ago
- Laurelmlee
  Thanks!! Will do!
  LikeReply7 days ago
karlcfolkes
The grandeur of a grandfather’ attention recaptured in the arduous splendor of an admirer. A lovely poetic gesture.
LikeReply 116 days ago
Kaytee
You absolutely captured that sweet moment when we feel seen and adored. I love it! Great work.
LikeReply 121 days ago
- Laurelmlee
  Thanks, Kaytee!!
  LikeReply7 days ago
Soulwriter
In my humble opinion, you've captured it beautifully.
LikeReply 122 days ago
- Laurelmlee
  Thank you! It happened a long time ago, but I never forgot it. Thanks again!
  LikeReply22 days ago
Philipo
Well-written and clear work here. Add a little positive love as the theme, you get a correct poem.
LikeReply 123 days ago
- Laurelmlee
  Thanks, Philipo!
  LikeReply23 days ago
AIDA
This poem is absolutely enchanting! The way you've captured the feeling of being adored and desired is truly impressive. Your choice of words is evocative, and your imagery is vivid. The line "I felt like such a goddess then" is particularly striking - it perfectly captures the sense of empowerment that comes with feeling desired.

Your use of rhyme and rhythm is also well-executed. The poem flows smoothly and the rhymes don't feel forced.

If I had to offer any constructive criticism, it would be to consider varying the length of the lines a bit more. While the rhyme and rhythm are impressive, the poem could benefit from a slightly more varied structure.

Overall, though, this is a wonderful piece of writing that showcases your talent for capturing complex emotions in vivid language. Keep up the fantastic work! more »
LikeReply24 days ago

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"Because You Looked at Me That Way" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 6 Jun 2023. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/159339/because-you-looked-at-me-that-way>.

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Lewis Carroll wrote: "You are old father William, the young man said..."

A. "and your eyes have become less bright"
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D. "and you seem to have lost your sight"