Lactose-free Beans

But at the store, the price is quite obscene.
Marked up for those with special dietary needs.
It's a bitter pill to swallow, or so it seems,
To spend so much on such humble seeds.

Candy’s bringing something special today.
To the Christmas party for the elderly.
Steamed to perfection, with no added sheen.
Her lactose-free beans, oh what a sight
Pure and simple, the most wholesome cuisine.

No added ingredients of any kind.
Just the beans and their natural flavors.
Candy's dish could not be more refined.
A simple pleasure that most definitely savors.

The guests sneer at the sight of the beans.
But Candy remains steadfast in her belief.
Telling everyone, "Just give it a scene."
It’s her resolve that brings everyone such relief.

As they eat, the guest’s delight and surprise.
There is nothing more heavenly than these.
Candy's lactose-free beans were a hit, they realize.
Leaving everyone feeling happy and at ease.
So the guests asked for Candy's recipe.
But she just smiled and kept it to herself.
Perhaps her secret, or her just her decree.

But as delicious as the beans may be,
There is a downside that we must see.
For oftentimes, after the feast,
Comes a bout of flatulence, unbridled, at least.

It's a common occurrence in elderly folks,
A common part of aging, as science evokes.
But that doesn't make it any less embarrassing,
For the elderly who can't stop expelling.

So while Candy's lactose-free beans are divine,
We must be prepared for the flatulence that will chime.
Perhaps some digestive aids can be on hand,
To help ease the discomfort of the elderly clan.

A dish that’s tasty and safe to eat.
Something that everyone can adore.
Candy’s lactose-free beans can’t be beat.
It’s a dish that we all can implore.

About this poem

This poem is still in a working process for a book I am Co-writting with another. I am a plotter while she is a pantser. Two minds will work together writing a Christmas book like no other.

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Written on May 01, 2023

Submitted by andrewcasey1985 on April 30, 2023

1:46 min read

Quick analysis:

Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,752
Words 346
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 4, 5, 4, 4, 7, 4, 4, 4, 4

Andrew Casey

Born June 10th 1985. I began writing in 2017 and published my first book Dark Sparrow the Mastermind in March 2020. Though in 2023 I am becoming more serious about things and planning more projects in the works while co-authoring a new book with Joanne Henzler. more…

All Andrew Casey poems | Andrew Casey Books

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    "Lactose-free Beans" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Jul 2024. <>.

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