HARDEST DECISION

It was the hardest: to see and discover soul-continents in the eyes of the stars! To fall in love with a lost delusion with the usual frivolity, free of rice-talk and sincere telepathy: we could have been happy somewhere! Well-fenced prison walls, masked smiles concealed, masking on my face the ancient rejection! Wounds longing to heal, despite balmy words, they never heal!

That was the hardest: To stand before a class with outspread, armour-clad ideals, To make Truth confess while you were laughingly scolded in the name of moral judgment! Then on the vaults of eyes the sympathetic pearl-curtains of forgiveness seemed to gleam; Tears fell in ditches, the shores of mouth-crevices were now hard to usurp

laughter, and sad resignation, in its pain, was cracked, and through the soul's amber veil, in pain, it began to sprawl!

It was the hardest: To press on with a determination the hopeless love we knew rightly, while we both knew for certain: we did not yet know enough of each other's weaknesses, hidden secrets, and faults! A half-crazed child cheered my daily tearful face: the dreams of a prodigal fool! Weaving from the heart the affection that could only be his own!

It was hardest of all: to stare with dumb boci-eyes At unfulfilled kisses, secret deceptions, twilight-eyes kiss-judgments In one heartbeat, as if he who had revealed his truths to you Had only lied for ever: each word of his was a sinful heart-break! - To backslide from platonic relations that never were, And begin again every blunder miscarried In immature youth! Yet to know that in thy self-clinging severity Thou hast surely redeemed by love!