Realm Of Insight

Focused since I said hey to forty two
Then I shortly knew
It was hardly me, it was mostly you
I may feel isolated but never by oneself
With His hand I always return from bad health
The good book sitting comfortably loved on the shelf
I communicate with Him verbally
Who I am feeling inside, at times worthy to be
My principled behavior murdered by me
A cycle of choices that hurt for decades
Waiting as the memory of death fades
Short of air as every breath invades  
Nightmares haunting me during daylight
Unwilling to simply pray at night
My eyes open, afraid to say what is right
Knowing when I ventured into a dream state
I would potentially sleep with a clean slate
The past, present, floating between will and fate
Trapped in a chilling atmosphere
Where the pain of choices lasts for years
Looking for comfort, I grasp what nears
Unbalanced while I struggle seeming stable
Tripping over the idea of being unable
My life a yarn, simply fleeing a fable