HOW DO I UNLOAD MY LOAD?

How do I unload my load, to let go of pain that's left untold?
Wanting to grab on to what's real.
Deal with the things I can truly deal with.
Once again I ask no-one can answer.
How do I even start to unload my load.
At times I go into a fit,with my mind in a scramble, trieng to talk it out
with someone,I can only ramble.
Putting my thoughts in order I have to do before I even start to do what I have to.
Strong and weak at the same time I feel as Im loosing my mind .
Knowing it's my strong hold,even if another don't see.
Good person,beautiful soul,I know I am,wondering why I feel as an helpless lamb. Pushing through a field of wolves.
A battle I keep fighting,picking up my pen as a sword and keep writing.
 Fighting ,writing through the pain,finishing hopeing for change.Feelings of realness not fake.Love not hate.
Wanting to vanish from the road blocks time,anger,pain,frustration,fakeness,hate,and weight.
All ways find myself standing surronded by loud noisey.
I can't hear myself breath.


                      by Angela Whitehead
   originally written:9-14-17 rewritten:3-13-23