Losing you

I would have been there every holiday.
I would have been more like you.
I would have hugged you so much tighter.
I hope you can't see the brokenness inside of me.
You always said all's we have is each other.
Now we only a reminisce of what we use to be.
You was the glue.
Truly Our queen B.
Depression is a murderous thing,
It steals our joy.
You remember when I was stuck in the baby swing?
You buttered me and got me out.
You always rescue me.
Even in death, I don't wanna disappoint,
Shutting down the echoing screams of what's the point.
The point is I want people to know you was a wonderful mom, and you deserved better. A better home, Better kids. You deserved to live a life you never wanted.
I told you do all the things you wanted to and you said you did even though all you did was waste you're life raising us kids. I can't let your legacy go down in vain. Mom I never pictured my life without you it's insane. I hope you ain't suffering and I'm trying no to. The world feels so cold without you. So I'm gonna keep trying to get over your death, you wouldn't have wanted it to affect me like this. But I have no guidance and no place to call home . Till the day I die forever I will roam alone