I WONDER

I'm standing again
On the suicide cliff
I see bliss at the bottom
How many times has it been?
5,6, 10, I  have lost count
I just want to jump
Leave it all behind
But fear of the unknown
Of what awaits, stops me every single time

But I still wonder

Will I be worth more
When they find me in a pool of my own blood

Will they see longing in my dead eyes
For Acceptance?

Will they feel warmth  in my cold  lifeless frame
Of compassion?

Will there be tears?
And If Yes, then what for exactly?
For me being gone or for them losing me?
It's not the same, you know

Who am I kidding, I can't do it
I am not brave enough
To end my physical presence

But I  have been long dead inside
Funny thing is
no one noticed.