I wish you loved me

I always wanted your approval
In everything I did
Your only compliment is that I’m your worst kid
You never should have had me is what you would say
You would ask God why you had me every day
I know I disappointed you
You made sure I knew that
You taught every body that I’m who their disrespect should be aimed at
I struggle sometimes to get out of bed
I can hear all the ignorance dancing in my head
All the whippings all the pain
The horrible nickname
I wish you loved me
I know you brought me in this world
Maybe I’m naive
What if love is pain
Then you wouldn’t be wrong for doing all those strange things
You’d be excused then for hitting me in the mouth or pushing me on the floor or beating me every morning as if you were the alarm clock kicking in the bedroom door