Reconciliation

I hate that you don’t answer me, I hate how much I care. I hate that I feel so alone even though you are right there. I cry and cry and cry for days as you push me further away. I pray and pray and pray to god but have been led a stray. I wonder if I’m good enough. I wonder where I went wrong. I wonder if you’ll come back to me or have I been crazy all along? To think that love could pull us through, that we would make it til the end. Hearts are not meant to be shattered over and over again. My love for you is very real and I cannot pretend.

So please just tell me now if this is a waste of time. I can’t seem to find a way to get you out of my mind. I try and try and try so hard to show you how much I care but at the end of the day it’s not enough and that I cannot bear. I want to hold you and feel close to you the way I did before but I can’t even say a word without you walking out the door. You pack your stuff and leave without an explanation or a goodbye. I love you so fucking much and all I can say is that I tried. I tried to be there for you and support you through hard times but you never truly let me in, you just held it all inside. Two different people from two different worlds came together for a moment in time. And they loved hard and fought like hell to the very end of the line. But this isn’t a battlefield and there aren’t any guns being pointed before our eyes. We’re just two different people surviving together, trying to make it by.

Life doesn’t need to be as hard as it has been but you don’t make it any easier when you shut down again. You close me out and walk away and I’m just supposed to take it. I welcome you back with open arms and without any hesitations. So whenever you’re ready to come back to me, I’m here and I’m ready to listen. Because I still love you and there’s no chance that I’m walking away. You are the love of my life and I am here to stay. You can push and push and push me in any direction you want. The only place I should ever end up is back in your arms where I belong. So take me as I am and don’t leave me guessing. I miss you so much in case I forgot to mention. I’m waving my flag, you win this war. I just want my man back and I couldn’t ask for anything more