Moving on without you

What do I do with the breast that leaks, with no one to feed?
For the body that has been stretched and the private that bleeds?
What do I say to the little clothes that you’ll never get to wear?
The bows and the headbands that will never adorn your hair
What do I say to the car seat and that it’s a girl/boy balloon?
How do I decide between you being cremated or you being left alone in a tomb?
No answer for my soul mourns
Your life mattered, you were stillborn
I guess the best that I can do, is keep your memory alive
I can live life for you
When I look at a flower I can think of what your name means
I can hold you for hours even if it’s only in my dreams
I can talk to you out loud because that doesn’t mean I’m crazy
Though you’re not physically here, your spirit resides with me
You will always be my baby
I don’t know why this happened
Even though the doctors try to explain
I can not fathom not raising you
The idea drives me insane
I know that you’re at peace
Probably playing in the clouds
To be your mother, of that privilege I am proud
Send me a sign and let me know when you’re around
It can be a hummingbird or some familiar sound
I’m so sorry baby for the absence of your life and the time  we won’t be able to spend
Just know that I can’t wait to see you once again❤️❤️❤️❤️ ©️Jazlynn Montgomery