Finding peace

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes.
Pain is all around me,
and so the feeling grows.

Hooked on alcohol,
drugs, anything to numb the ache.
Hopelessly self-medicating,
Craving a tender escape.

Living in the shadows,
with immoral warm hugs.
Caught, judged then caged.
Life’s cycle of jail, crime and
fucking drugs.

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
Pain is all around me
And so the feeling grows.

Criminalised, stigmatised and shunned.
Wary of those in power.
If you knew my story.
You’d soon soften your scour.

When I was little,
I dreamt of being a teacher
Grown up to be a lost soul,
unloved damned creature.

Never protected
Never found my place
Abused by evil humans,
The systems a fucking disgrace.

A painful life lived,
void of love.
Trauma runs in my veins,
instead of blood.

The hateful voices
constantly shout.
Powerless and broken,
there’s no way out.

Terrified of sobriety
Excruciating memories slice too deep
Relentless crippling torture
Longing for a peaceful sleep.

I wish I never existed.
My souls been butchered
too many times.
A little sting
then it’s sublime.

Waves of euphoria
replace the bite.
This last warm hug
will bring forever dark.