Musings

Here I am, right here, standing in front of you
Tell me what it is that you want me to do
Confess all my sins, say that it was all me
Will watching me crumble set you free?

There I go, falling into darkness again
Never quite knowing when to say when
Sleeping with the devils that haunt my head
Lying alone, crying every night in the bed.

Who am I when I am not floating on a cloud?
Listening to the sound of silence scream so loud
Seeing all the faces that have already faded away
Wishing so hard on all the starts for the unattainable “one day.”

Anger and sadness tumble like waves and come and go like the tides
If they’re not on the surface, they’re eating me up inside
Happiness is elusive, it hides from me in broad daylight
Repeating the days that all just feel like an endless night.

What do I do, when no-one else around can really see me?
If I could be anything in the world, what would it be?
A washed out, used up shell of a once content human being?
Because that’s where I’m headed, if seeing truly is believing.

What happened to all the things that I said I’d do?
Am I really going to give up now after all I’ve made it through?
Some broken bones, a few crushed hearts and pain that tore me apart
And yet, I’m told, that all that broken beauty makes for exquisite art.

My scars that i always hated, I wished I could rip them off my skin
And then reach a little deeper and rip out all the pain that I have within
My life playing on repeat as I make all the same mistakes
Refuelling all the brokenness with every new heartbreak.