live the lie

Crystal balls smooth
the wrinkles of time to feel  
and gradually know what it's like to live.....  
I dreamt of questions I didn't want to be...  
I rode through a place called heaven  
but I couldn't stop for the scenery...  
I smelled the breeze,
but it wouldn't stick to my senses   
just a couple of miles away  
from my headstone to be freed  
to be okay again, needing to be.  
I've meant to be spiritually born
to reign under a sky,
to shine as a sacrifice   
and then...
I could get close to you,
to begin the life of a lie…  again
to find the truth of you.