Death Pain and Hate

I hold my breath
For moments that never happen
Just to see if I turn blue
Cause if I'm not breathing
I don't feel...
I won't have to think of you

You're a memory
And a nightmare
I love you, I hate you
I miss you
But you're never near

Is it because of me?
Because of the hell I walked in?
For everything good and bad
Lead me to you
Lead me to this moment
So let's not pretend...

You no longer feel love
And you can't stay
You've cut my tongue from me
So my lips can't make out your name...

To call you as you run away
Like so many times before
Leaving without looking back
Like there's no good
That we're made out for

But I've risen from the ash
Surviving the aftershock
From the wake you've created
Charred. My heart black from hate
That's why I'm no longer devasted

Your love has turned me to stone
And has left this hallow shell before you
For all the death, pain and hate
Their blinding lights...
guided me to truth