What does a letter mean?

The entire alphabet A to Z
I’ve been taught it since I was 3
Internalize and memorize
The meaning of each one

But the most important
A
No room for C or D
Amazing
Basic
Coasting
Daydreaming
Empty
Failing
The connotation of each one
Negative, unless you are an A

Straight As
Consistency
Something I don’t have
But strive to be

I want to show up
I want to remember
But clearly, I am all over the place
A-Z

I have never found much issue
In this system I have mastered
Bargaining and begging
For grades I asked for

But it's not working
The grades are winning
I am going backward
Closer, yet farther from the finish line
What is the finish line
If you make it there
Without a medal
Does it even matter

I believe it does
But something tells me different
She says, “Grades are just a number”
She tells me my future is not
Determined by an arbitrary figure
But how can I believe that
When everyone who says this
Still judges me
For not winning the game

Maybe not numbers but they are sure letters
An identifying symbol
The beginning of a word
The determining factor
For the order you come
If you don’t know your ABCs
You will be held back
In kindergarten
In life

I know inside
I have the potential
But permanent ink
Copied into locked transcripts
Existing for 30 years

I find it harder and harder
To believe a grade is just a number