tears fall for a reason

If i don’t have any more sadness in me
that means i don’t have any of you left in me
and i can’t have that.
So i play sad songs to suffer a little longer in my head.
I play symphony’s of hospital beds so you come running,
I’m trying to live my life like it’s the last
because it might be
and i’m trapped in a fantasy
and i’m watching carefully
because if i never get to say what i need to say
i need to know you’re okay
and right now i can’t tell.
Those glasses are blocking your vision
and i can’t help but steal the light from anyone that cares about me and you.
Your friends might laugh but i love you through it all
I know you don’t trust me and i don’t trust you
but i’m on my knees
and i know you’re hurting and hiding
but i’m hiding in my heart
floating on memories of past.
I miss past.
Even if we’re not compatible
I’m trying to align this uncomfortable phase.
I’m wrapped in linen,
I can’t breathe.
Please tell me we won’t forget each other.
Please make one more unforgettable mistake with me.
It’s overwhelmingly difficult
The worlds full of little moments of joy
but the darkness is consuming me.
I’m drowning on silent memory banks.
I’ve been mentally drained since i was eleven.
I hate that tears fall for a reason.