Friend

I’ve never been the kind of person,
to let someone walk out of my life,
I’ve never been the kind of person,
to give up and not think twice.

when you told me that you hurt,
you wanted us to end,
I just had a feeling that we were never even friends,
whenever I asked if you wanted to hang out,
it was always your mum who had the doubt,
“ I’m sorry mum said no”
was it just some big show,
was that the best excuse,
but like always there was never a dispute,
did you forget that we were friends,
I followed you on everything,
I saw the photos at your lies end.

Part of me at first thought that it was him,
cause god forbid a straight girl,
could ever have queer friends,
I’ve slowly started to realise,
maybe it wasn’t him at all.

maybe it was just you trying to keep it clean,
but while you are smiling,
a part of me is dying,
and while your all good and full of fun,
I’m working my ass of thinking I am just done,
you laugh and get high while a part of me has died,
I can’t sleep or eat,

because when I said I loved you,
although just as a friend,
I gave away apart of me saying,
this will never end,
a piece of my heart,
a part of my soul,
I gave to you to keep,
yet you ripped it up and went to sleep,

I never said I was perfect,
but neither were you,
you said I’d never been there,
that wasn’t me but you,
I answered when you called,
picked you up when you were Down,
but the one time I needed you,
you were nowhere to be found,
how can you sit there and say,
you love me?
when you shattered all I am,

this is worse than a breakup,
because those are supposed to end,
nothing hurts more than,
when you lose your best friend.