Shaggy Tribute to Norm*

Douglas Blair 1951 (London)



At the latter part of workday.
Sun lowering.
A mosquito finds his way
Into the office of a Foot Doctor:
Hi Doctor, how’s things?
Mind if I stretch out
On your sofa. Oh, watch the wings.
Aahhh that’s better.
Doc I think I am in a terrible slump.
Wife bitches all the time
Sareptha Alissandrovich
Thinks I should be extending myself
For more pay, more prestige.
She spends all her time
In a swarm of girlfriends.
Who speak ill of me.
Our Son gives me sideward looks
As he exits for college. Tisk. Tisk.
The one new neighbour thinks
He has an issue with me
About a property line. Stupid bastard.
Survey papers thrown around.
And my poor second daughter
Marissa Alissandrovich
Can hardly walk.
Taken down by that cold spell
Of last winter.
As were so many of us.
I look in the mirror
And see nothing I admire.
Like some disgusting
Spider hanging by a thread
Over the flame of
God’s wrath.
Tentatively held back.
That gun in my drawer
Makes a sickening offer.
Much too dramatic.
Are you getting this down Doc.
The mosquito asks.
It all seems so tedious, so meaningless.
Like a crushed pillow at
The bottom of a fall from a Cliff.
Or the Hoover Dam.
Ever feel like that?
Life, Purpose, Legacy. Adversity.
(Goes on for ten minutes more.
The mosquito does.)
And finally dinner hour calls.
The Doctor interrupts.
Why did you come to my door?
I work with feet.
You should be seeing a Shrink.
So many, many anxieties, Mosquito.

Yeah, but your porch light was on…


* Norm McDonald told story to Conan O’brien. Oops it was a moth and not a mosquito…

https://youtu.be/jJN9mBRX3uo
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Written on February 05, 2023

Submitted by dougb.72572 on February 05, 2023

Modified by dougb.72572 on February 05, 2023

1:38 min read
22

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABACDXDCXEFXXEXGXBXGXXCFHXCICXBXXXXJCXHXIKXXKGJXXXJXXL X L
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,586
Words 328
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 54, 1, 1

Douglas Blair

Blogging poems since 2008. Once a lawyer in general practice. Then 32 years as Shipper in a heavy metal fabricating plant. Retired 2022. Married and father of two. Poet. Hiker. Harmonica Busker. Gospel enthusiast. Photographer. http://shootdempix.blogspot.com/ more…

All Douglas Blair poems | Douglas Blair Books

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