Drifting

I looked at the empty dark street around 2 am last night,
As I wondered how many people walk by each day, and all their stories must be full of sorrow, happiness, and much more.
Then I turn to look inside myself:
He came into my life like a whirlwind. Out of nowhere and without notice. He swept me up in his currents, taking me far away from my comfort zone. He drowned my worries and Burned my old withered fields to make room for our love to sprout.
As I contemplate the reality in which I now find myself, better than my prior, not where I wish it to be.
I am content with the way things are, but as I grasp my warm cup of joe, I realize.
The ground has been set and the soil has been tilled.
The seeds have been planted.

So with all this said, how come I cannot allow myself to water this new land? How Do I overcome my demons and fears and just let myself feel again?
Why can't I just give what is deserved? to a soul so pure and damaged that It is annoyingly beautiful?

I remember the darkness that kept me under for years, But now the light is so bright I am taking longer than normal to adjust. I just hope when I do open my eyes to enjoy the sun rays and smell the flowers, Winter has not come again.