the breaking of the wintery dawn

Years pass and days merge one to another
And yet those I pray I could’ve done better
No more desire a connection with me.

These years have been as long winters
A perpetual cursed isolation, a death to serve
Of which my punishment was to live.

I was slain and yet lived, marred forever
Of a childhood sin I could not erase.
I tried to amend but it will never be.

Would any come forward to confess of themselves?
Forward I could not go until I went back to make confession
And seek to make it aright.

Alone and yet not alone, but alone.
10,000 words I could speak without echoing one.
But why? truly the many will never see.

Do they not know the one who wronged… was also wronged?
In like manner ironically, and that itself has never been reconciled.
But it matters not because that wrong was truly deserved.

My voice is the silence sounding as through the wintery landscape
On the bitter days when souls huddle around the hearth
Awaiting the rebirth of the sun.

Mine will come but not in this life.
Only through that door over the horizon
Will I find life and have my bitter tears wiped away.

Help o Lord my cry and heal my family from this hell.
If judgment is good in their sight, then bring it that they may rejoice over.
Slay this dragon and give his flesh food to those who desire it in full tale.

For what am I or who am I that life in me should remain?
Only let me see your guiding light and hear your still small voice
As I move forward from this living death to life eternal.

Your words are sweeter than honey and life abundant
To a thirsting soul seeking pure refreshment from the curse
This life has been.

Open Lord their eyes and cause true sight to reign supreme
Let their souls cry aloud for mercy and break before you all the day long.
And seek for peace among their brethren whom they have cast away.

And let I pray hell to cease and love truly reunite the broken again.