the bad day

The bad day
 
Every time I go to school people look at me and I feel like they don't like me or that they have a problem with me. Sometimes I think about the world and I need to take a break. Every time I go into my room, I cry because I hate the fact that I think that everyone hates me. The only thing that I wish for is someone to be the arrow of love with me, but the only thing that I can do is listen to God, and hope he has a next chapter for me. Every time I smile and look at myself, all I see is someone who can never make it.
                                “I cut myself because you wouldn't let me cry.I cried because you wouldn't let me speak.I spoke because you wouldn't let me shine.I shone because I thought you loved me.”- Emilia Autumn.
                                                                                               Every time I speak, I think someone is going to yell at me. When I look at my brother, all I see is Romeo. When I see myself  I know that  I will never be like him, not cool, not smart and not pretty. When I was very young, like eight, I was cutting my fingers because of something that my Mom had done to me. When I was ten , I started hating my body because of my Mom. When I was eleven, I hated everyone and everything  also because of my mom.
                                                                                                     When I was twelve ,I felt like everyone was judging me everywhere I went. Then I went into foster care. Me and  my sibling got separated, and I love my sibling so when we got separated ,I felt like it was all my fault  ,everything's my fault if i'm not doing it right it's my fault if I do something wrong it's my fault.  When I was thirteen,  I spent my birthday in foster care. This time I was with two of my brothers but one of them ran away. I have six siblings and more from my Dad's side. I just haven't met them.I moved a lot in foster care but the thing that I am grateful for is that I can talk to my sisters.
                                                     Sometimes I wish I could just click my heels so it all can go away. When I was fourteen, my foster parents had told us that they were going to quit foster care. That meant they had to leave me .My brother thought we were going to get separated again, but they didn't. Instead they  put me and my brother in a group home and that's where I am right now. I like It here. The people who live in the group home are so nice, but at the same time I still feel like they dont like me. Sometimes I think to myself that one knows what I'm going through, and sometimes I can't help the fact that I'm alone in this world. Also that can’t  help me. Every time  I have just one little bad day I can't stop and think about what I have been through, so my bad day is my story and what I have been through, and all I have to do is see what is going to be my next chapter.