Tears she shed

All the tears she shed were words she refused to speak
Which she watched fall down to the paper
Smothering the lies she tells everyone
She had written them down to rehearse
She thought it was the perfect cover
But the knots in her stomach suggested otherwise

More tears ran down her cheeks
And the paper was completely wet
The thoughts she wrote down were smudged
And the pen in her hand escaped from being used to cover up what she really felt inside

She was alone and nobody knew
She'd started journaling about how she felt
But was good at lying
That she even started decieving herself
Journaling emotions and feelings foreign to her
Writing down what went down with somebody else
All in the name of wanting to see herself as a perfect being

Her tears told stories she'd worked to keep hidden
Stories that she wanted nobody to find out about
But the knots in her stomach said otherwise
Made her choke on the lies she told everyone
Suffocated her with the truth every second
But she always played the game well
Anti-depressants after 3 hours
Were enough for her to feel better again

She just wanted to feel normal and be loved by everyone
Had different masks to put on to appear normal and appealing
But the tears she sheds today tell stories of recovery and hope
And maybe one day
She'll stop masquerading
And reveal her true identity